Lately I have been lucky to have insights about being honest with myself. I have noticed that there are feelings and “frames of mind” that will be running just below the radar, like in the background; and I have noticed that I had been ignoring them. They are the kind of feelings and states that I would call “common” or “unremarkable”, seeming like the dust on the windowsill – not obscuring the larger view… What I found though, is that they were not so subtle when given full attention! I found a level of unconscious engagement in a story line of old, a can of worms!! And a deep one, too!! So lucky!! I found out a couple of things as a result: Attention is so valuable, just simple quiet attention. And forgiveness allows one to be more honest with oneself and also fosters honesty in others, so that there can be a deeper seeing all around. Just simply sitting still, in my case, allowed me to see a subtle layer of suffering, a “frame of mind” and then into a major pattern of thought that had been crusted over by repetition and ignorance. Now what I am finding is that there is a whole new pathway opened up in the seeing and more is being revealed, like a flower unfolding. I am seeing the threads of this in my entire life, all of the relationships, and especially powerful seeing now is happening through the relationship to/with my body. What a gift attention is!! That we have the power to focus attention on itself is truly a miracle. Then, the gratitude is as unending as the revelation of just being. This gift – noticing, focusing awareness – all revealed to me in satsang with Gangaji. Thank you with all of my heart.
